For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

This verse has been sticking with me a lot as of late.  For more reasons than I could even begin to explain really.  As I sit here and think over a lot of my life’s happenings, this verse literally applies to each and every one of them.  Everything has its time. Everything has its season.  Everything.  God controls it all.  Nothing is in vein. Nothing is just by chance.  And as I meditate on this verse and reflect on all the words that it’s made up of, He becomes more real, more evident, and my faith begins to increase. I begin to realize in a deeper and more meaningful way that he is right here with me, with us all, governing over everything, ruling over it all.  Orchestrating perfectly with a purpose. His purpose.

This verse brings me peace.  Even if I haven’t a clue as to why something happened or what possibly the purpose or reason could be in something.  This whole chapter in Ecclesiastes tells me that there is no such thing as coincidence.  There is no such thing as chance.  But in turn, there is order. There is purpose.  There is reason. And he is sovereign. 

He is real.  I know this because even in the midst of total devastation and disaster I can still feel his presence.  I can feel a lasting peace that sort of just hovers over the circumstance or situation.  A reassuring comfort letting me know that he is who he says he is and that no matter what, in the end all things will work for his good and his glory.  I won’t lie, in these very circumstances and situations I still feel anxiety, stress, fear, doubt, frustration, guilt; you name it.  Every awful, scary feeling or thought, I have thought it, I have felt it.  I still feel them. But, I pray through them, and just like everything that isn’t true or real, they slowly start to diminish and his truth is revealed.  His peace begins to surpass it all. 

I know that he is real simply through his provision.  He provides. He provides. He provides. I will never be able to say that enough.  Whether it be through finances, through friendships (both new and old), peace, and grace, he has provided for me countless amounts of time.  In these past few weeks alone, God has provided in such amazing and astonishing ways. 

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

1 Peter 1: 6-8

Through the fire we are refined.  Therefore its having gone through these devastations, these trials, these circumstances that I am found to be even more thankful.  Though these times are hard, still are hard, I will continue to praise him through it all.  I will praise him because he is in total control.  He knows the purpose and reason in everything.  I will trust in him. I will choose to put my faith in him and not in my worries or fears. In him alone.

“I lit my love and watched it burn. Asking nothing in return except the lessons I will learn, holding Crazy Faith.”

Crazy faith.

Before this year, before coming here, I would say I never really had experienced this type of faith firsthand.  I had read about it, sure, like in the bible, or heard stories of people going through insane situations or circumstances and never ceasing to be faithful; but personally this type of faith was kind of foreign to me.  Over this past year though, I have come to know this type of faith quite well. And as exhausting, as hard, as risky, and as draining as it is, I am grateful for it, because in the end it’s always worth it.  Honestly, this faith is the only kind that I ever want to have from here on out.  The kind of faith where to the world it seems maybe crazy to be so hopeful or trusting, but to you it seems only right. This is the type of faith that I personally feel we are all called to have. This type of faith is what makes God all the more real. This is the kind of faith that seems to come almost naturally to my friend Renee, each and every time a new child is admitted to be rehabilitated here.  This is the type of faith that keeps this ministry alive and running.

Sometimes, well a lot of times as of late it seems, children come here in a really severe state.  They come so malnourished that you can physically see the damage done all over their little bodies.  You can pretty much see how their entire body has been affected by the lack of nutrients given to it; their skin, nails, eyes, everything… They come suffering. They come sad. They come weak. They come scared.  Some people might even consider this point to be at the brink of death.  And that is probably a true statement for some, considering if their outside body appears to be that damaged, its scary to think what their internal damage might be. 

These types of children come from all different situations. All different families. All different backgrounds.  All different stories.  All that being said, I have come to know that it is not our job, or my personal job even, to judge their stories, to judge their caretakers, or their families.  And as easy as that is to do sometimes, we have but one responsibility here and that is to love them.  Love not just the children we are treating but their caretakers as well.  Unconditionally.  As if they were Christ themselves.   And in doing this we need to serve each and everyone of them wholeheartedly, having faith that is, well… kind of crazy.  Faith, believing that these children will be fully healed both physically and spiritually.  Faith, that after being in our program their caretakers will be changed for the better, and that this type of situation won’t reoccur.  Faith, that no matter what, God is in pure and total control.  Faith that His will will be done here, just as it is in heaven.

The risk for heartbreak, for the most part, is certain working here at this center.  It’s one thing to just care for someone when they are sick, but it’s another to pour out your heart to someone who is so sick that you honestly don’t know if they are going to live to see the end of the week.  I am aware of the importance of guarding your heart, and I am in constant prayer asking for help in doing just that everyday, but it would be selfish of us to refrain ourselves from opening up our hearts to these children just for the sake of avoiding the hurt that might come.  Right? Yes, it would be foolish really because each and every time there is a lesson that we are taught.  Each and every time we are more refined. Whether the outcome is joy filled or sad filled, we can be certain that there was and is purpose in the lives of each and every child.  I know this because I have faith in His promises.  I know this because I believe that what seems impossible to us here on earth, to Him is possible.  I know this because this is what He asks of us - complete trust and total surrender.  I know this because I have crazy faith.

**Side note: Yes, I am aware that the lyrics above are to a love song that is not really all that relevant to what I am talking about in this blog, but it’s ok, because they are from an Alison Krauss song, and well, the song is great.  Thanks for reading.

So, its that time again.  Time for america. Yes, that's right.. this blog comes to you from the living room of my mom's condo in new jersey.  I have been back for just a few days now and will be here until the end of the month, and then it's back to Jinja, Uganda for me again.  What was once only supposed to be a 6 month short term volunteer trip turned into an additional 4 month trip managing the house at Serving His Children for over the summer, has once again turned into another trip.. but this time for a bit longer.. and this time a bit of a different position. 

This time I will be traveling back to Uganda where I have committed the next 2 years of my life serving as the assistant director of Serving His Children. Yep, a pretty big commitment that is for sure, and quite a scary one when I really start to think about it, but after quite a bit of time in prayer and lots of thought and consideration I am at peace with my decision.  I really don't know what to think when I try to imagine the next two years of my life, but I'm okay with that.  I'm okay with not really knowing what will come of the next couple of years.  I'm okay with not knowing because I know in the long run I am in good hands.  

The last 10 months have been amazing.  And as cliche as it sounds, they truly have been life changing. They have been filled with joy, and although there have for sure been some trying times, God has been faithful and the joy has outlasted it all.  I am so thankful for the opportunities I have been given, each and everyone of them.  I'm so thankful for all of the people that have come in and out of my life in my time thus far.  I'm so thankful to be able to work alongside someone who has become a great and dear friend of mine.  I'm so thankful to be serving a God who is so good, so powerful, and so so merciful and full of grace.  

In my short time back I plan to fill it with friends, family, food and sleep. I'm happy to be back, yes I am. God has blessed me with so many wonderful friends and family members to be my support system and I can't wait to spend some time with them. And just as equally, I can't wait to get back to what I have known for the last 10 months of my life.  I'm excited for what's to come and even though there is a lot of "unknowns" out there, I am hopeful.  

I wanted to share with you all some pictures.  Pictures of just a few of the awesome and powerful transformations that God has so graciously given me the opportunity to witness firsthand.  I'm so happy and will forever be blessed to have been a part of these children's lives, to be part of their stories. I hope you enjoy.  It's these very pictures that help us to remain hopeful in hard times.  It's these very pictures that are living proof that our God is at work here.  He is the ultimate healer, all glory and honor belongs to him forever and ever.

thanks for taking the time to read! 

be blessed!

Brian Before

 

 

 

Brian After

Muzafalu Before

Muzafalu After

Scovia Before

Scovia After

I haven’t blogged in a while. Actually, I haven’t blogged in a long while. And blogging few and far in between like this is kind of tough. So, I will attempt to have at it. Please bear with me.

As I sit here my brain flashes through the last few months since I have been back in this country and it’s almost too overwhelming to process everything all at once. So many things have happened. So many things here have changed. To be honest my brain is still going through the first few weeks let alone the last few hours… So my apologies in advance for what may be a very, very scattered blog post.

I have been back here for almost 4 months now and truthfully as I sit here and recount the happenings of these past few months it feels like almost a years worth. Now, granted I don’t have the best memory, but as my mind flashes through the memories that have been piling up, it’s hard for me to believe that it really has only been just a few months. 

My mind first flashes through the images of all children that I have encountered here in our program.  I go through the images of all the moms that have also come and stayed here with us watching as their children go through the rehabilitation process from beginning to end.  And as I go through each and everyone of these memories engraved in my mind are detailed images of all their sick, sad, small faces with bodies too weak to even lift their arms, some too weak to even cry.  Their faces filled with looks of such hopelessness and exhaustion.  And right along with those images I go through all of the faces of their moms and other caretakers.  Faces filled with fear and distress.   Faces terrified at the thought of possibly loosing their babies forever.

These are the hard times.  These are the scariest of times.  These are the moments where we have to cling to our savior and plead for His will to be done.  Where we must trust that no matter what the outcome is, that He is in control and will always use it for good. These moments are temporary. These moments are just the beginning. 

For most, after about a week or so in the rehabilitation process these very faces begin to transform.  They begin to fill up with emotions that are just about everything that is opposite of what they were from the start.  Smiles emerge as their faces begin to fill out.  Smiles from both the children themselves as well as their proud parents and caretakers.  These are the moments that far out weigh those in the beginning.  These moments are living proof that our savior is at work here. 

For some, their stories come to an end much, much too short.  For some, the sickness taking over their bodies is just too much.  And why the Lord chooses to restore some back to health and others to come home with him we will never know.  His purpose needs no explaining. All we have to do is believe in his almighty and powerful way of controlling everything. Everything.  And know that he is with us, right by our side, always and forever. 

Thanks so much for all your prayers and words of encouragement. 

go.

These days we’ve been on the road a lot.  And by a lot I mean A LOT.  Some of the travel has been expected or planned, and at other times some of it has been just out of sheer emergency or spur of the moment - get in the car and go kind of traveling. 

Get in the car and go. 

That statement right there pretty much sums up my own as well as renee’s life these days.  On the road and behind the wheel I suppose is just where the Lord has us as of late.  And we can only listen and obey. Listen, obey and go. One day we can get a call about a child in Myuge (a village about an hour and half away) for possible admittance into our program, then the next we can have a scheduled outpatient clinic in Manafwa (another village about 3 hours away). One day we can have to go on an all out search, or as I like to call it a “hunt”, for blood for a child who is severely anemic and is in dire need of a transfusion, and then the next we can have to rush a child back to Kampala to get to a hospital and quick.  

Some of our car rides have been peaceful and relaxing, while at other times some have been filled with panic and urgency.  I can say though, that God has always gotten us to where we need to be, safely and always always always in His perfect timing.

Lately, in Jinja there has been a blood shortage.  We were told something along the lines of all the blood banks not being distributed enough reagents, so any and all blood that they had or have is unusable.  Hence, the “blood hunts” that Renee and I have been embarking on recently.  We have had to make several trips out as far as Kampala as well as other neighboring areas close to Kampala in order to get blood for a handful of children in our program.   To Kampala, it’s about a 2 hour drive one way, a 4 hour transfusion process, tack on another hour or 2 of waiting room time, and then another 2 hour drive home.  Needless to say our days have been full. But God is good and I am thankful for good travel foods, a great travel buddy and friend, clean healthy blood and safe car rides.  He is faithful and for that we are thankful.

Also lately, we have had some sick sick sick children come into our program.  Children that have just been sick for far too long.  Children, who’s malnutrition has so far advanced to the point where in order to reverse the damage done to their tiny little bodies it is a literal battle.  A battle that takes just about every last ounce of energy out of all of us here trying to help.  A battle that no child should ever have to fight.  A battle that requires you to put your heart on the line and allow it to be broken for the things that break his. And boy have we battled hard for some of these kids and still we are continuing to fight for others right now even as I sit here typing this.   But the good news is God is in our favor and even when it looks like we are loosing or even when it looks like we have lost, we have not.  In him we have victory.  Always.  Even after hours and hours then turning into day after day of staying up and monitoring a child who is just wasting away by the minute, He is winning.  He in control and He has won. Even after what was probably the craziest and fastest car ride that I have ever been a part of rushing to Kampala at 7:30 at night with a child struggling to breath as her organs slowly start to fail one after another, only to reach the hospital where she took her very last breath. 

He is winning. 

He is in control. 

He has already won.

Yes, in some of these times, I won’t lie, it is nothing short devastating. In some  of these times, it seems all together just too hard to even think straight or focus on anything.  The only thing left to do is pray.  Cling to what He has told us to be true.  And cling on to Him.

So in these moments of battle we need only to listen and obey.  We need only to fight for as long as he allows us.  We need to sometimes be able to leave what is comfortable and easy and sometimes go to those hard places. We need only to believe that He is here with us fighting right alongside of us.  

“O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?”

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Back at it.

If there were an award for the worst blogger, I’d win it for sure.  I don’t really even have a good excuse, other than the fact that these days when I try to sit down at my computer words just seem to completely fail me.  I have stared at this blank white screen for far too long … so, I have decided that today is the day.  Today, I will attempt to revive my [poor excuse for a] blog. 

So, it has been almost three weeks since I have been back.  Uganda is just as gorgeous as ever, and Serving His Children is just as awesome as ever, but this time around, Serving His Children is busier than ever!  From the moment I arrived, all the way up until just this morning, there has yet to be a dull moment here at Serving His.  The house is packed with moms and their babies, all our cribs are full and then some.  We’ve been over “capacity” since I don’t even know when, since even when I was back in America!  One healthy baby is discharged and 3 new sick ones appear through the gate within a matter of hours. And the cycle goes on and on.   

It’s been wild. 

But seriously, how do you so no? How do you shut your door on some of the worst malnutrition cases that SHC has ever seen?  How do you shut your door on someone who has been turned down by every hospital and clinic around because they can’t afford to foot the bill?  How do you shut your door when you know God has provided you with enough room, enough money, enough medicine, enough love?  You can’t.  You simply can’t. All you can do is believe that God is in control and for whatever reason accept the fact that He is entrusting us with the lives of every child brought into our rehabilitation program.  And although it is an honor, it’s a scary one.  It’s an honor filled with responsibility for children in such a fragile state.  It’s the type of honor that causes you at the end of the day to just stand in awe and utter amazement at the display of all of God’s great mercies and His infinite extension of grace.  Truly, without Him we would have all burned out by now.  Without Him we would be shriveled up and be paralyzed by fear, and anxiety and stress and just about every other ounce of deception thrown our way.         

Yes, it’s been wild.

I feel like this is the type of situation where someone might use the phrase: “Something is in the water” (well, maybe not literally, although the water here is quite the gamble...).  I have been thinking a lot about the state that Uganda is in right now and I suppose it would make sense for malnutrition rates to be increasing.  Reports have been showing that Uganda’s inflation rates have been on the rise over these past few months.  And it’s been crazy to see.  Prices for staple foods such as rice and beans are close to being almost double from what they once were.   Fuel prices are raising steadily causing the costs of transportation to be very expensive.  So yeah, with all that being said i guess it does makes sense for malnutrition to be on the rise here in Uganda.

It really has been wild.

Just in a matter of a few weeks I have seen our Creator at work.  I have seen joyful babies be discharged and go home in the arms of their thrilled parents.  I have seen smiles and laughter come from children who were once filled with total sadness and sickness.  I have even seen new life being brought on to this earth (yes, I had the honor of holding the leg of a woman giving birth at a health clinic where we were holding an outpatient clinic  … crazy story that I guess I can share at some other time...).   And just as I have seen goodness I have seen the work of the opposition at full force.  I have seen such terrible sickness combined with such awful malnutrition begin to overtake such a tiny little innocent body, only to hear that that very child comes from living their whole life in an environment filled with witchcraft and total spiritual darkness.  I have seen the damage brought on by AIDS and watched as the disease completely sucked the life out of one of Jesus’ own.   I have seen to the point where my brain can’t even process any further.  I have seen to the point where I can only turn to God and just ask for His will to be done, even though at times I haven’t the slightest clue as to what that might look like.   I can only accept that His ways are not my own. 

   

And in this wild place I am happy.   

Yes, it’s both thrilling at times and devastating at others, but I am at peace here.  I am so grateful to be working alongside of such great people here.  I am so honored to be in the place where God has not only positioned me, but has equipped me to be.   I am so blessed be able to be a part of just about everything that I have experienced here.  And I am excited for what is to come… although at this rate I am also a little nervous…  But God is good and He will forever be in control.  Thanks and praise for that!

Sorry I am terrible at blogging, I promise to try and make a better effort this time around.  Thanks for reading.  Prayers are most appreciated.

 

- Danielle

Caught up in grace like an avalanche.

So I'm back in America, I've been back for a little while now and it's been great.  My friends have not forgotten about me! So that's a plus.  In fact, after seeing most of them, its feels as if nothing really has happened, like 6 months didn't just go by without seeing them.  I kinda love that.  Although, I was beginning to miss them, along with my family, so it's been really really great getting to see everyone and share stories and just hang out.   

Oh, how I miss Uganda already though.  I miss the babies, Renee, Selah, the entire SHC staff, my new friends (popular, not really though..),  I just miss about everything at this point.  It's sort of a bizarre feeling to love both places so much, here being with my friends & family, and there in Uganda.  At this point though I don't think I'm really quite ready to say or admit [to myself even] which of these places I love more.  I will say this though, my deepest desire is to be in the will of God.  And right now, at least for the next 4 months or so, I feel that I am supposed to be there, in Uganda, serving with Renee and this awesome awesome ministry.  

I've said this before I know, but I just feel so fortunate to be part of Serving His Children, even if its just in a small role, and even though half of the time I don't really feel qualified, and even if it's just for a brief season in my life.  I am honored to be a part of this all.  I love just being able to assist in any area of need. God is doing great things here.  He is showing me a whole new meaning of the word love, a whole new meaning of the word grace. Also, I've said this before, but I am sooo thankful for the support & love that I have received to be able to be even doing any of this.  The words of encouragement, the prayers, the everythingggg.  Thank YOU.

It's just all so wild and strange to stand here now and look at how everything unfolded.  A few years ago I felt a certain pull towards Uganda.  I began what would be months and months of praying about it.  This would be where I think I first started to scare my mom, sorry for that.  After some time and some odd coincidences and strange happenings an opportunity presented itself to go and do some short term ministry work.  And I went.  And I loved every second of it.  Again, more time passed and through another series of events (some good, some kind of devastating) God opened up another door and I was introduced to SHC.  I met the Bach family, felt a great sense of peace with everything, raised my support, and I boarded a plane and went.  Which kind of leads me to this point in my life.  

I never really knew where in Uganda, or in what sort of capacity, or line of work that I would be doing over there, but I sensed Uganda all along.  God placed this amazing country on my heart, and I am doing my very best to adhere to his calling on my life.  For now its serving with SHC, maybe in the future it will be with SHC too, I really don't know what my next move is, and I am OK with that.  He has gotten me this far and I am so open to his leading in my life.  And I really do believe that because of that I am covered. I am covered by his grace.   

Take my life
Take all that I am
With all that I am, I will love You
Take my heart
Take all that I have
Jesus how I adore You

This is from a new Hillsong song that I just heard.  If you haven't listened to this yet you need to.   

Like An Avalanche.

I love whoever is reading this. Plain and simple.

-Danielle

ALSO:  For an update on whats going on over in Uganda with SHC, and how you can be praying, check out Renee's blog