“I lit my love and watched it burn. Asking nothing in return except the lessons I will learn, holding Crazy Faith.”

Crazy faith.

Before this year, before coming here, I would say I never really had experienced this type of faith firsthand.  I had read about it, sure, like in the bible, or heard stories of people going through insane situations or circumstances and never ceasing to be faithful; but personally this type of faith was kind of foreign to me.  Over this past year though, I have come to know this type of faith quite well. And as exhausting, as hard, as risky, and as draining as it is, I am grateful for it, because in the end it’s always worth it.  Honestly, this faith is the only kind that I ever want to have from here on out.  The kind of faith where to the world it seems maybe crazy to be so hopeful or trusting, but to you it seems only right. This is the type of faith that I personally feel we are all called to have. This type of faith is what makes God all the more real. This is the kind of faith that seems to come almost naturally to my friend Renee, each and every time a new child is admitted to be rehabilitated here.  This is the type of faith that keeps this ministry alive and running.

Sometimes, well a lot of times as of late it seems, children come here in a really severe state.  They come so malnourished that you can physically see the damage done all over their little bodies.  You can pretty much see how their entire body has been affected by the lack of nutrients given to it; their skin, nails, eyes, everything… They come suffering. They come sad. They come weak. They come scared.  Some people might even consider this point to be at the brink of death.  And that is probably a true statement for some, considering if their outside body appears to be that damaged, its scary to think what their internal damage might be. 

These types of children come from all different situations. All different families. All different backgrounds.  All different stories.  All that being said, I have come to know that it is not our job, or my personal job even, to judge their stories, to judge their caretakers, or their families.  And as easy as that is to do sometimes, we have but one responsibility here and that is to love them.  Love not just the children we are treating but their caretakers as well.  Unconditionally.  As if they were Christ themselves.   And in doing this we need to serve each and everyone of them wholeheartedly, having faith that is, well… kind of crazy.  Faith, believing that these children will be fully healed both physically and spiritually.  Faith, that after being in our program their caretakers will be changed for the better, and that this type of situation won’t reoccur.  Faith, that no matter what, God is in pure and total control.  Faith that His will will be done here, just as it is in heaven.

The risk for heartbreak, for the most part, is certain working here at this center.  It’s one thing to just care for someone when they are sick, but it’s another to pour out your heart to someone who is so sick that you honestly don’t know if they are going to live to see the end of the week.  I am aware of the importance of guarding your heart, and I am in constant prayer asking for help in doing just that everyday, but it would be selfish of us to refrain ourselves from opening up our hearts to these children just for the sake of avoiding the hurt that might come.  Right? Yes, it would be foolish really because each and every time there is a lesson that we are taught.  Each and every time we are more refined. Whether the outcome is joy filled or sad filled, we can be certain that there was and is purpose in the lives of each and every child.  I know this because I have faith in His promises.  I know this because I believe that what seems impossible to us here on earth, to Him is possible.  I know this because this is what He asks of us - complete trust and total surrender.  I know this because I have crazy faith.

**Side note: Yes, I am aware that the lyrics above are to a love song that is not really all that relevant to what I am talking about in this blog, but it’s ok, because they are from an Alison Krauss song, and well, the song is great.  Thanks for reading.